Visionary Leadership Starts with Trusting Yourself with Dianne A. Allen

Hello, welcome to Leading with Purpose. Today's guest is someone who truly understands what it means to see the person behind the vision. Diane Allen is an intuitive mentor for visionary leaders and the host of Someone Gets Me podcast, where I recently had the pleasure of being her guest. For decades, Diane has worked with highly sensitive and gifted visionary people from all walks of life, including musicians, executives, educators, attorneys, and people rebuilding their lives. Her gift is listening beyond the words to help people recognize their inner genius, to reconnect with who they really are, which is one of the big things that I'm all about, connecting to who you really are at soul level, and bring the ideas in their hearts out into the world. I'm really grateful for the work that Diane is doing. I believe that visionary leaders are often seen often see the possibilities before other people can see them, but that gift can also come with feeling misunderstood, feeling different, which we'll talk about, or often even feeling alone. So today, Diane and I are going to explore what happens when visionaries stop trying to fit in and begin trusting their gifts and finally feel like someone truly gets them. Hello, Diane. Welcome to Leading with Purpose.

Dianne A. Allen: Oh, hi, Mark. It's so good to see you today. We're going to have a great conversation.

We absolutely are. I always love looking at the lineage of of how connections are made, and we got to meet through a mutual friend, Michelle Royal, who we met through other soul family friends, and again, I feel like it's been a long time in the making of us getting connected, and there's so many different things that we relate on.

Dianne A. Allen: Oh, so many things! It's so funny how it took so long, or felt like it did, but then once we connected, it felt like I've known you forever at the same time. Like linear time didn't seem to apply then.

Absolutely, and again, your your podcast is Someone Gets Me.

Dianne A. Allen: Someone Gets Me.

Yeah, how how did how did that title come to be?

Dianne A. Allen: Well, actually, I was a It's an interesting little story, and the person who helped name it, you also know. I was being interviewed. I was getting ready to be interviewed about my work, and I was just getting ready to start the podcast. Like I had planned it, I knew what I was going to talk about, but I didn't have a name for it yet. And the person who was going to interviewing me said, Well, we have to have a name. Like, you know, we can't just say, And she's going to do a podcast. And I'm like, Yeah, I understand. And my friend Crystal, who you know, Dr. Gifford, was standing

She was standing in the room, and she said, Call it Someone Gets Me. That's what we all say after we've been around you for an hour. So, Someone Gets Me was born.

I love it. I I love hearing that origin story and knowing that it was Crystal Rose who who started all that off. That's beautiful.

Dianne A. Allen: Yeah, and she said it so matter-of-factly, too. She's like, Well, of course. Like that's how we all see you. And I'm like, Oh, really? I didn't know that. Okay.

And and I think that's one of the things about our gifts. Even those who help other people to see their gifts, we often the things that are most valuable to us in other people we we just take for granted.

Dianne A. Allen: Yes, I think so. I think that's very true.

And I know you work with people who often see and feel things very, very differently from those around them. What makes someone a visionary, and why do so many visionaries spend part of their lives feeling like they just don't quite fit in?

Dianne A. Allen: Ooh, those are two really big questions. I think a visionary, in an easy way to say it, is somebody who can feel and sense and know, even beyond their own intellect, either what's happening or where things are going or what to do. And sometimes they don't even know how to explain it. They just know it. It's that, I know, but I can't show you my work, so to speak. I just know. And when people who are visionary learn how to trust that, things really explode for them in all different kinds of ways. And I think that they get really lonely a lot. I know I'm a visionary leader, so I've spent a lot of time feeling really alone and misunderstood, along with everybody I've ever worked with, really, of like they'll say something and they see it clearly, and it's all especially in a business sense. And everybody will look at them like they have three heads, and that's ridiculous. And then three, four, five years later, that same idea will come through someone else, and they'll act like it's a miracle and it's new, and and I'm like, you know, we could be snarky and say, I pointed that out way back then, or we can just smile and keep on moving. You know, there's lots of ways to handle that. But I it happens all the time to people, and you know, we get called names and and dismissed. However, it's the visionary that actually has the ability to lead the team if the team will allow it. Mm.

Mm-hmm. And it's funny, because I talk about visionaries. I work with visionaries. That's kind of a big thing. So hearing your definition of it is is very helpful. And knowing like what was the the I forgot what you first said about anyway. Well, well, I just love the the getting putting words to how you see visionaries.

Dianne A. Allen: Well, you know, it's you're a visionary, I'm a visionary, and we walk around. I kind of look at it as on a different vibration. Almost like we're on Earth, but we're really not on Earth sort of, like we don't experience the world the way other people do. We see more acutely, we hear more acutely. Our emotions, our connection is is different. And I I explain it to people like this: The average person out in the world is watching a little black and white 6-inch TV camping. We, visionaries, are in a immersive 3D surround sound multi-dimensional experience of exactly the same movie. So our experience, our understanding, our way of relating comes from a completely different way, even though it's the same movie. So like you might say, Okay, well, that's red. And a visionary might say, Well, that's red with a blue undertone that has this vibration to it, because you can see then all the layers. And it's not that either is right or wrong, it's simply that they are different. And so they all need to be honored, because sometimes it's nice to see the the simple things when we look at things so complexly all the time, and it's also nice to see all the nuance. So I think it's all valuable, but visionaries often are misunderstood because they people just don't get it. Most of the time, they just don't get it, unless that there's another visionary in the room. And then they'll go, Oh, you're one of us!

Exactly. I think there's a couple reasons for it. One of them is what I was thinking about earlier, I couldn't get bring the words back, was when you said that you can find the solution without showing the work.

Dianne A. Allen: Cause

sometimes, again, for people who are like, Well, if you can't show me how you got there, I don't really see it. And again, it's it's being a trailblazer, and so you're ahead of, it's like being a scout, and so, yeah, we we we can see things that other people just don't see, and it makes it very challenging sometimes.

Dianne A. Allen: Right, and there is no linear cognitive work to it. Like I laugh about that phrase I say, cause it reminds me of when I was on like a fourth and fifth grade math and you're learning division and they say, Show your work, but I always had the numbers right. And sometimes I could show the work, but other Often, I just knew it. So why show the work? It seemed irrelevant to me.

Yeah.

Dianne A. Allen: And I understood why they wanted us to show the work. However, it was irrelevant to me because I was correct. And so there was that whole dynamic from the time I was very young, and a lot of times, I'll see something. It's like connecting the dots and seeing a pattern, you know, emerging or something, and most people don't see it for two to five years unless they're also a visionary. And some people are visionaries and don't know it. They just walk around feeling like aliens or different, and they hide it, you know, masking and things like that. And so that's one of the ways I can always tell if I say one of my one of my visionary things and somebody goes, Yeah, that's a really good idea. I'm like, Oh, okay. You just told on yourself in a good way.

And I love that you used math as an example because even math, which seems so finite, we learn that there's so many different ways to get to the same solution, and that there are core math was being taught for a while, and in Asia, they have other types of, again, getting to the same solution. So I love again this expansion of what a visionary is, and one of the things I think I've seen you probably have noticed as well about visionaries, especially early on in their journey dampening their gifts so that they can better fit into society. In some places, they call it the the tall poppy syndrome.

Dianne A. Allen: Right.

I'm sure you're familiar with it. So, how do how does that happen, and how can someone begin reclaiming the path of themselves that they've learned to hide?

Dianne A. Allen: Well, I think people start learning to hide when they start either being dismissed, or humiliated, or made fun of, or called names, or something happening, and so the very sensitive visionary person will start constricting more and more and more and more, and pretty soon they have a mask on, or they may be so disconnected from their real inner world that that's where they feel kind of depressed and shut down or anxious or something. And I think it happens over time, most of the time. I have I do know some people where there was one sentence that was said, and it was so powerful, and it was from an authority figure, and it just shut the person down. And so part of I call it thawing out. Yeah, you know, part of what happens when a visionary finally says, enough of this. I have to find a solution to be authentically really happy on the inside and I know that I know there's something, I just don't know what to do. And that's why they call me a lot of the time, like help me find it. So what I first start doing is listening to what they're saying, but also listening to what they're not saying. And often in what they're not saying, I can start to see the way they interact with the world. And you know, what's leading? Is their emotion leading or is their spirit leading or their intellect leading? How how does it work? Cause every one of us does it differently. And once somebody feels heard and somebody understands that, then there's safety. And with that psychological safety is permission to kind of open the box that you you slammed shut a long time ago and look in. And for some people it's exciting, and for some people it's scary. And so, the greatest honor I think is for those of us who get to walk that walk with people as they as they explore their inner world. It's kind of like being an archaeologist, I think, and it's fun. You know, you're dusting off the things and seeing what's in there, and it's always more beautiful than the

person imagines. And they're afraid a little bit that what if I don't like me? The biggest shame factor is you might not like me, but worse than that, I might not like me. Maybe those people who shamed me were right. And I don't like me once I see me, which has never happened. And that's a real fear that a lot of people have. So sometimes we have to realize that when we're uncovering who we really are on the inside, there's all these different experiences around it, and all of the experiences are okay. They're all good. There's nothing wrong.

Now, I know you also work with kind of a spectrum of neurodivergence. That's another term that gets thrown around and can have different connotations or meanings to different people. When you were talking just a minute ago, it also made me think about how people take on a lot, and sometimes I don't know if it's because of empathy. And I'm curious if there's a relationship between neurodivergence and empathy, and how it can be when somebody says something bad, they can take that on and and own that.

Dianne A. Allen: Oh yes, it happens. It happens with empathy, it happens with intuition, but it also happens with an intellectual overexcitability where the person keeps repeating the bad or shaming sentence. So now what that adult maybe said to the person is now becomes their own record in their own voice, which now it has much more power when it's in your own voice. And so there's lots of different ways of a visionary and very sensitive person. Most neurodivergent people are way more sensitive than others to light, to sound, to emotions, to all of it. And so it's easy to take on those things, especially the women, because they're taught to take it on, right? And the men are taught they're supposed to hide that they're that sensitive and that aware because it's not cool. And so it's both sides of the coin, and in reality, it is cool to be sensitive and strong and verbal and kind, all at the same time. You can do that, and it's okay not to take on other people's drama. We're not meant to do that, even though in our society we're trained to, so we have to unlearn that very toxic behavior.

It's almost like a badge of honor to be able to take on someone else's pain. I know as a parent, how much I've often wished that I could just take that pain on myself and take it off of somebody else. But we realize it's a disservice, that it's part of building resilience is to be able to witness the the pain, but not have to have to feel it ourselves. Is that

Dianne A. Allen: Right, because when you're witnessing it with somebody or, you know, the way I kind of imagine myself is I just kind of come alongside and hang out with the person, sit next, in metaphorically like sit next to them, and sometimes I am physically next to them, and just kind of be there. And, you know, the greatest honor that we can have is for somebody to trust us to just kind of be there with them in whatever is going on—good, bad, indifferent, whatever they're labeling it as—and be in that process and be safe, because the healing is in the safety. The coming home to who we are within is in that safety, and if we can provide that safety, the rest of it happens organically, as long as a person's willing, and we don't make them willing. The person has to be willing. So it's really It's fascinating, I think, because I think we all do it in our own neat little way.

And I think you touched on a key part of it just a moment ago when I was talking about empaths and you were talking about intuition and excitability, we want to come back to that, how it all kind of fits together, for a long time I believed that women were just intuitive and men were less intuitive. We had it, it was just not as refined. I invested a lot of money in how to use my intuition, how to tap into it, and I found that it was a lot of times it was just a I'd get the signs. I just didn't know how to interpret them or distinguish between what was intuition, what was fear, what was ego, what was wishful thinking or or some other just exciting idea like you were talking about before. So how do you really distinguish between and know that something is your actual intuition?

Dianne A. Allen: Well, I teach people in the beginning to learn how to to to verify things and claim them, so you write it down and you kind of pay attention. Did it come true? Is this correct? And kind of notice. The way I tell personally, and I think everybody does a little different, is intuitive things come to me in a language that's not mine, in the sense that it's not my cadence. It would not be my syntax if I was to write it out. It would be English, but it would not be the way I would say it necessarily. And so it has a different feel to it. There's a different little It's like a little twist kind of. And and so that I know that. But I always ask myself, How is it feeling? And if there's any part of my ego trying to think or figure, I have to move that out of the way first. And so sometimes I have to sit on some messages I get cause is it really a download, or is it just like a really good idea? Cause I am very intense, and I have lots of ideas, and I want to do lots of things. And if it was up to me, I would keep like 20 people busy doing things.

So how do you know the difference between just a good idea and a download? Cause this because

Dianne A. Allen: A good idea comes in really fast and can be frenetic, and it's like da-da-da-da, cause my brain works really fast. A download comes in and kind of hovers and sits. Mmm. And so there's a different energy experience. So if I'm looking for a good idea, I'll just I'll speed up. I can even hear in my voice, now I'm speeding up because I have these ideas. But if I if it's a download, it like literally comes in and hovers and so I can almost feel my body kind of sitting, like down a little more, a little bit, my shoulders go down. I'm like, Oh, oh. And that's how I know it's a download.

I love that. Yeah. It's very interesting cause a lot of your work is is about being seen, and your your podcast is called Someone Gets Me. That phrase carries a lot of different meanings. What do you see the changes in a person when they finally feel genuinely seen? Again, when they feel that, a lot of times people have the mock seeing and mock hearing. But when somebody actually feels seen, heard, and understood, what changes do you see in those people?

Dianne A. Allen: They soften, and they some of them cry. They weep for the fact that somebody actually sees them. And, but they soften. That's the biggest thing that happens. And sometimes there's a smile, sometimes there's tears, sometimes there's kind of both. But all of that hard defensiveness, energy or otherwise, settles down. They soften, and so like even their cheekbones come down a little, you know, and things like that because they don't have to fight anymore or hide or pretend anymore, and they're still safe.

Mm-hmm. It's interesting, too, because I think sometimes, just for myself, when I feel seen, it starts I start to see parts of me that I I didn't otherwise see. Like other times, sometimes when you're fully seen, people can see you in a way that you can't even see yourself.

Dianne A. Allen: Right. Oh, absolutely. Yeah, oh yeah, that's why it's so cool to have cool mirrors of other visionary people who see you because, you know, we all have blind spots, and and I think that's fun, all the nuance of I kind of look at it as like a big, those old disco balls with all the mirrors everywhere. And so everywhere you look, there's something amazing and fascinating, but there's always more. There's something else. There's the reflection. There's the way it looks, how it moves. And so when we have other people around who can see that with us, and we're safe with them, and they can see it in us, and we see it in them, that reciprocity is just explosive in all kinds of neat ways. Even if it's just self-appreciation of each other or a creative endeavor, or it doesn't matter what it is. There's always something amazing that comes out of it.

It's such a a rich, beautiful conversation. You were talking about ideas, and the whole conversation has really been around visionaries. And as you were saying before, visionaries have no shortage of ideas, but quite often, the challenge is actually bringing those ideas into the world, being able to manifest them. What separates the visionaries who actually manifest their ideas from those who remain stuck in always having infinite possibility?

Dianne A. Allen: Uh-huh, that's a that's that's a good one because I I know a lot of people who are stuck in the possibility loop.

It's really fun there.

Dianne A. Allen: It's a great place to be, you know? And sometimes it it ends up being frustrating a little. But I I think the big thing that happens is I think there's two pieces to it. One is discipline, and understanding that we live in a society that has real issues with delayed gratification and doesn't really reward discipline. And the person who actually can bring to fruition what's important has discipline on some level. And I think the other big piece of it is being open-minded. That, like we were talking about math, there's more than one way to get to where we're going, and our bright idea may or may not be the way. It's like if I set out on on a journey today, and I might think I know where I'm going, and I I have the vision, I understand it, and there's lots of roads, right? Well, what if I run into you and we're having a conversation, and then you say something, maybe not even about the topic, and I go, Oh, hold on, that applies over here or whatever. And pretty soon, my road is changing, but I'm still going to the same place. So we want to be open-minded to we never know how the universe is going to bring to us or how we're going to experience something that will change the road to allow us to get to the vision in even a more profound way. Cause what we can see in the beginning is not it. It's much bigger than that.

There's so much richness to that. One, the idea that our minds limit the possibilities. And so when you have a plan and then things go off plan, some people get really rigid and stuck in getting things back onto the plan, not realizing, Oh wait, there's something bigger and better in store for you.

Dianne A. Allen: Yeah, you know, I tell everybody. I tell everybody I work with, and I tell myself this too all the time. Whatever you're thinking about, that's not it. That's not it. That's the beginning of it. The actual fruition of the thing is much grander than you can see right now with your own perspective. No matter how smart you are or how good of a visionary you are, it's always better, it's always bigger. We have to be willing to trust and kind of follow it. But it's not It's not what you think it is. It's something more amazing.

Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Well, this goes right into the the whole theme of this show is leading with purpose. So, I'm curious, we're talking about visionaries and intuition and meaning. What does the term leading with purpose mean to you?

Dianne A. Allen: What it means to me is going within, connecting to who I really am and what I'm meant to bring to the world, and then doing that regardless of what my ego says, staying laser-focused. It's like, you know, like athletes, you know, they their eyes are squinted and they're going after it, and don't get in their way cause it probably wouldn't be good for you, right? It's It's that kind of thing, like, I'm all over it. I it. I get called the Energizer Bunny a lot because when I'm on purpose, I I have a lot of energy. If it's something that that's not exciting to me, I don't have a lot of energy.

Totally with you on that. Like I I'll get one of those downloads you were talking with before, and I I can just stay up all night and I'm just sitting with it, I'm processing it and

Dianne A. Allen: yeah,

yeah. I can just I feel completely energized by it. And even the next morning, I don't feel exhausted by having less sleep. The idea is still fresh in my mind.

Dianne A. Allen: Oh yeah, and we could go for days like that, and then finally, it's like okay, now now the body needs its rest. But those are magical, amazing times because we're putting together things that would take the society in general or anybody a very, very long time to get to.

Yeah. Well, your podcast was fun. I really had a great time being on on there, and it's just a You first of all have been doing this a very long time. You have how many episodes?

Dianne A. Allen: We're at 460-something now, yes.

Incredible, and some amazing, amazing guests. I'm honored to be on that roster of your lineup. Tell me how else Or for people that are just listening, there's lots of different things that you do. How do you help visionaries? How do you support them outside of the podcast? What what are the different modalities that you share with clients? How do they work with you?

Dianne A. Allen: I do a lot of individual work with people where we go over the 12 major life areas, and I intuitively and using my education script a way for them to go after their vision, whatever that is, or even if they don't know what it is, finding it. We start with wherever the person is, and that's an individual one-on-one with me about 90 minutes a week. And I also customize things. I have some people that don't want that much time, so we do something different. I also have retreats that I sponsor and curate, and myself speaks and other people. We do them. It's called Different by Design, and it is intended for visionaries and other neurodivergent or eclectic people who know that they don't fit into the common mold to experience a retreat away where we do some play, and some music, and some linear learning, and all different kinds of things that that I create for that experience. And then I also have another group that I do about every 6 weeks on Saturday mornings called Gifted Get-Together, which is a free group where people I just invite people who want to come or people on my email list find out about it, and then they just come on Zoom and we chat about whatever people want to talk about as long as it's positive and forward-looking.

Mmm. I love that.

Dianne A. Allen: And then of course, I have I have my 10 books. And so a lot of people read my books and listen to the podcast. That's how a lot of people get a lot of information.

It's a very easy access way to to get a hold of you. I'll put all of the links right down below. I'm curious because there are a lot of changes that are happening very quickly all over the world, but especially in our industry, in the coaching, the personal development, transformation industry. What do you see as like the the big change that's happening, and the I guess what is the some of the the biggest challenge that you see? And what is the opportunity on the other side of that? Talk about I'm sure you're you're familiar with the the Chinese symbol that is a combination it's for crisis, but it's challenge and opportunity put together. So, there's a lot of crisis in the world. I'm just curious of what you see as the biggest challenge and then what's the biggest opportunity that's coming out of that?

Dianne A. Allen: I think the biggest challenge is the the declining importance of being the influencer. That that word and that whole idea is getting old because it's cognitive based, and I think that we're trying to shift to something more spiritual and emotional based in the world.

Mmm.

Dianne A. Allen: And so I think the opportunity is for people to get connected to themselves and have faith in bringing their unique gift to the world in a humble way so that then all of our like I kind of imagine all of our gifts come together and make the perfect puzzle. But if you don't do your part and or I don't do my part, it's like getting, you know, this thousand-piece jigsaw puzzle and there's two pieces missing, you notice those pieces first,

Mmm.

Dianne A. Allen: Right? And so I think it's our opportunity is for all of us to kind of get out of the chaos for a minute and realize that being in our head and everything we know, it's great that we know a lot of things, but knowledge isn't power. It's applied knowledge that's power. What are we doing, really? Like, really.

Mmm.

Dianne A. Allen: And I think that's where the opportunity is is the people who are willing to to take the difficult leaps and come out of their comfort zone and put themselves in positions that make them stretch into something more amazing and be willing to look within and see all whatever is in there. Those are the people who are going to excel.

That is so very powerful. Earlier, you were saying there there were two major things that that separated the the dreamer from the doer, and one of them was an open mind and the other one is about taking action. And so many people teach manifestation, law of attraction and forget the action part of attraction. So I I'm curious for anyone that's listening right now who knows that there's something within them that they're meant to express, create or contribute, but they've been holding back, what would you want them to hear today?

Dianne A. Allen: I would want them to hear that if it's in their heart and like they know they have that knowingness, that the answer is already there. The answer is yes. You have permission. Let's do it. Go after it. And that you will forever be grateful that you said yes. You know, because I think that it's not always easy, but sure is way more fun, and getting started might be a little tricky. That's why there is those of us who have been doing it a while around to kind of help, you know. Like I see you more as a mentor more of a mentor than a coach. I wouldn't call you a coach. I would call you

I wouldn't call myself a coach either.

Dianne A. Allen: That's not what we are. So, it's more like an ambassador, right? And so an ambassador is somebody who's got the high calling to help bring the world forward, like musicians. And so I kind of see it that way, that we want to be open-minded, and if you're listening to us and you're going, I know it's in there and I'm scared, the function there's a function to fear, and that fear is doing you a favor. The fear is telling you to get ready, and what you're getting ready for is the good life.

Yes, yes. Getting ready for the good life.

Dianne A. Allen: Because a lot of people were trained not to receive it. You know, it's like there's so many people you've seen, and I know you have, people work really hard to go after a dream or after something and then they get right there and then they sabotage it. That's the fear of success in action.

We've talked a lot about visionaries today and that word vision. And your whole thing is about being seen. lot of things that that keep people from being seen. We we've covered a lot of different things today, and we could probably talk for hours more and I would love to do that. But if we're to leave our our audience today with with a final thought, what would you like to share?

Dianne A. Allen: I would like to share that if you're listening to us, it's no accident, right? That you're here on purpose with a purpose. So give yourself permission to say yes, and don't forget to laugh out loud along the way.

Beautiful. Absolutely, bring more laughter in. Mhm. I love it. Yes, thank you so much, Diane. I'm grateful to be on this journey with you, love the work that you do, the people that you work with, and definitely want to have more of these conversations. If you're listening, you have questions, comments, you want to reach out to Diane, of course, we'll put those in the comments. We'll have all of her links to reach out directly as well. We will make sure that we respond to all the questions and comments. Diane, again, thank you so much. The light in me appreciates and respects the light in you. Thank

Dianne A. Allen: Thank you so much.

Much love.