Mark:
One of the greatest gifts we’ve discovered in our marriage, and in parenting our twins, Eden and Xen, is realizing how differently people receive love.
For years, I poured love into Renee, the kids, and even my clients in the ways that came naturally to me. Sometimes, it landed beautifully. Other times, it missed the mark, not because the love wasn’t there, but because I wasn’t speaking their “language.”
That’s when the idea of The 5 Love Languages became a game-changer for us. That awareness really clicked for me during one of our MetaMind Retreats. One evening, the conversation turned to The 5 Love Languages. Hearing how others described their experiences inspired me to dig deeper into my own, and to learn more about Renee’s, Eden’s, and Xen’s unique ways of receiving love. It reminded me that love isn’t about how I prefer to give it, but how each person most deeply feels it.
Renee:
The 5 Love Languages, created by Dr. Gary Chapman, describe five main ways people give and receive love. We all appreciate a mix of them, but usually, one or two speak the loudest:
- Words of Affirmation – encouragement, appreciation, and heartfelt “I love yous.”
- Acts of Service – love through action, doing things that lighten someone’s load.
- Receiving Gifts – thoughtful tokens that say “I was thinking of you.”
- Quality Time – focused, undistracted presence together.
- Physical Touch – hugs, kisses, and closeness.
For me, Quality time comes first, followed closely by Acts of Service. When Mark and I can set aside distractions and just be together, whether it’s a quiet dinner, a walk, or even running errands side by side, I feel most connected and loved. And when he steps in to take care of something before I even ask, it feels like such a relief. Those small acts mean more than flowers or gifts ever could.
Mark:
For me, Words of Affirmation and Quality Time are natural. I love telling Renee how much I admire her, whether it’s her brilliance in business or the way she shows up for our family. And I feel closest to her when we carve out intentional time together, even if it’s just walking around the neighborhood or sitting on the couch talking after a long day.
Renee:
Early in our marriage, we often missed each other’s signals. Mark would write me long, heartfelt cards, thinking they would mean everything, while I was just craving time together or help with the never-ending to-do list. I, on the other hand, would focus on doing things for him while he was waiting to hear words of encouragement.
Learning about love languages felt like finding the decoder ring. We still express love in our natural ways, but now we’re more intentional about speaking each other’s language. That shift has been one of the biggest reasons we’ve grown stronger over the years.
Mark:
This has been powerful not only in our marriage but also with Eden and Xen. As they’ve grown, we’ve seen how differently they each respond. Some days, they want hugs and closeness (Physical Touch). Other times, they light up when we encourage them before a test or performance (Words of Affirmation). And sometimes, it’s something as simple as making their favorite breakfast or driving them somewhere without complaint (Acts of Service).
Renee:
For me, it often shows up as quality one-on-one time with each of them. A few weeks ago, I took Eden to see Katy Perry in concert, and later, Xen and I went to see The Weeknd. He’s still talking about it three weeks later. Those were big moments, but honestly, the smaller ones matter just as much: mall trips, car rides to and from school, or just sitting and talking without interruptions.
That’s what I’ve come to love about this framework: it reminds me that love isn’t about grand gestures, it’s about the consistent, everyday choices that show people they matter.
And I’ve realized the same applies in leadership. Some clients feel most valued when we give them full attention on a call (Quality Time). Others, when we send encouragement (Words of Affirmation). Some love thoughtful touches, like remembering their birthday (Receiving Gifts). And many appreciate when we step in with support that makes things easier (Acts of Service).
When we show up for clients in their language, not just our own, it builds trust and a deeper connection. It tells them: You matter, not just your business.
Mark:
Whether it’s in marriage, family, or business, love languages remind us that relationships aren’t one-size-fits-all.
Renee: When we take the time to learn how the people around us best receive love, we build stronger bonds, deeper trust, and more joy in every relationship.
Mark and Renee: Here’s the truth: love isn’t just a feeling, it’s a practice. The more intentional we are, the more love multiplies in every part of life.
What’s your Love Language? We’d love to know. Reply or leave a comment and share how you feel most loved.